You must have heard about or must have witnessed a toddler or a preschool child going in rage .In our country we designate it as “baccha jidd mein hai “.In medicine this is denoted by the term” Temper Tantrum “.
Temper tantrums are a child’s expression of anger in outbursts of rage . When a child goes in a rage , parents blame themselves for their ineffective parenting skills . The parents themselves are in a emotionally unstable state . Temper tantrums are a normal part of child development .
They may occur due to 1. Frustration and fatigue ,2. May be attention seeking or demanding , 3.Refusal , 4. Disruptive ,5. Potentially harmful ,6. Rage like . Tantrums usually start before 2 years of age when a child tries to communicate his desires in different ways . He will express his feelings in the manner which he is able to do . They usually decrease by 4 years of age but can persist in later years also .Parental depression and family violence may be the contributing factors for tantrums .
HOW TO DEAL WITH THE TANTRUMS-
- Parent should remain calm while handling a child with tantrum . The child is not able to calm down if the parent is apprehensive .
- Find out the cause for the tantrum . If the child is frustrated due to excessive fatigue or hunger , he needs support , sleep or food . A few words with positive affirmations can help the child . Comfort him if the tantrum was due to fear . If the child felt ignored before the tantrum then spend quality time with him playing and reading . Mild ailments like pains or some digestive problem can also cause tantrum.
- For those tantrums in which children are making unusual demands it is best to ignore them till the child becomes calm over time .
- Take steps to prevent the child from getting hurt . Remove all dangerous things from the path . Hold the child firmly . Speak assuringly specially when the tantrum was due to frustration or unfamiliar surroundings. Talk to the child when he calms down . Discuss with him the tantrum and its concern .
- Tantrums seen in school going children are seen as refusal tantrums .Refusal tantrums on issues as going to bed and to school are to be dealt with firmness and consistency . Parents should request the child to comply their sayings and give them time for compliance . If this request fails then the child should be physically moved to the bed or into the car .
- When behaviour is disruptive and out of control or occurs in a grocery store physical removal of the child is the best . You may have to carry the child kicking and screaming . You should remain calm whilst doing all this . Allow the child to calm down . This should be followed by time outs.
- When significant rage with potential for physical injury occurs hold the child to calm down and allow him to relax . Discuss with the child when he has calmed down . Explain to him that this behaviour is not acceptable , and make him know that you love him .
- Never smock the child .Never yell or speak harshly when you want to stop him throwing a tantrum . Tell him that screaming is not good . Stop screaming then only will your mother talk to you .
- Ask your child to express his feelings verbally rather than by tantrums . You yourself should bring down your frustration level by calming down .